Trading made botter

FAQ

Can I get rich with your code?

I mean, theoretically… If you manage to become rich, I want in on your yacht party. Contact me if that happens.

Why open-source everything? Isn’t that like... leaking alpha?

Exactly. If my code actually works—huge if there—, we’ll all retire on a private island. Until then, at least the SEC can’t sue me for insider trading.

Can I trust your code?

You shouldn’t. I only code self-deleting bots that wipe my entire portfolio. Consider this blog a group therapy session for degenerates.

Have you ever made actual money with this?

I’ve made a few thousand euros so far — not enough to buy Twitter like Elon, but enough to feel smug during lunch. Long-term plan? Become an ATM with attitude.

Advice for new algo traders?

  1. Learn Python, obviously.
  2. Blame banks and actual traders for everything.
  3. Marry a walking health insurance.

Thank me later bro. Damn, wish someone told me this earlier.

Why not just buy SPY and chill?

I could. Or I could build 27 bots with questionable math, deploy them on a $5 VPS, and emotionally bond with each candle I see. Your move...

Are you a professional trader?

No, but I have professional-grade imposter syndrome and an almost unhealthy level of self-doubt.

Can I hire you as a mentor?

We can negotiate. But keep in mind that my idea of mentoring includes late-night calls, over-complicated explanations, and a lot of coffee breaks.